Fun-Da-Mental Illness

Posted on 30-08-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Latest Outrages, Politics, Uncategorized, Why Radio Sucks

The Book of Mormon concludes the story of Shiz’s death at the hands of Coriantumr with the words: “And it came to pass that after he [Coriantumr] had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised up on his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died.”

Of course, we would have never known the story of the Shiz, leader of the Jaredites, struggling for breath despite being headless, were it not for the Angel Moroni, the guardian of the Golden Plates. Moroni appeared before Joseph Smith in the woods outside Manchester, New York in 1823, and presented Smith with the plates.  The whole history of the Lost Tribe of Israel wandering around pre-Colombian North America was all written on those plates in hieroglyphics that Smith was able to decipher with the use of magic glasses.  And thus the Mormon religion was born.

I bring this up only because of a little fracas  brewing between fundamentalist Christians and shitbird Glenn Beck over Beck’s conversion to Mormonism. Well, maybe it’s not really brewing, but the lib website Think Progress is sure trying to instigate something by resurrecting a story that appeared on a Christian website earlier this year, a story that quoted Bill Keller ” leader of the world’s largest interactive Christian website for 11 years”, saying that Beck’s religion was pure batshit.

“The ‘god’ of the Mormon cult used to be a human who rose to god-like status, just like Beck and all Mormons believe they will too after their death. The ‘jesus’ of the Mormon cult is the natural offspring of their ‘god’ Elohim who had sex with Mary, meaning their jesus is a created being and NOT a deity as the Bible teaches, and is the brother of Lucifer.”

I never know whether to stifle a yawn or a chuckle, or both, when I read stuff like that but I see the point that Think Progress is trying to make: Beck’s running around saying Obama’s religion is fake Christianity while a bunch of born-agains are running around saying Beck’s religion is fake Christianity. I see the irony. But, to me, this is like saying “Hey, Beck! That drooling lunatic Keller says that you’re crazy!”

Shiz? Moroni? Urim? Elohim?  Thummin? All sounds insane to me. Magic glasses, golden plates? Whatever.

I’m not here to defend Mormonism, but don’t the real  the Christians have their share of odd balls running around in the real scriptures, too? How about those ol’  ox-faced cherubs, four-winged angels with the face of a cow that guarded the tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden? Nothing unusual about that. Or multi-headed hydra rising from the sea on judgement day? It’s all there in the Book of Revelation. To say nothing of talking snakes, women turning into mineral compounds,  dead men rising from the grave, virgin birth, and all that good stuff we associate with true  Christianity, which, as you know, is far superior to those far east crap religions that worship elephants and cows, and where they have to pray 7 times a day, you know, those guys who want to kill us because they hate our freedom?

To which I politely  say: Please fucking stop. Seriously. Stop  the voodoo nonsense. It’s not helping anyone and it’s driving people apart. Whether or not a Mosque is built a few  blocks from “ground zero” is, to me, an issue about as meaningful  as  whether or not to put ketchup on a hotdog. And here’s something else that apparently nobody has the guts to say.: it’s all insane. That men die in the name of imaginary men like Moroni or Abraham is incredible to me. I declare a jihad against this insanity.
 

Abraham, Martin, and John (Hagee)

Posted on 29-08-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Godammed Bastards, Latest Outrages, Politics

 “My role, as I see it, is to wake America up to the backsliding of principles and values and most of all of God,” he said. “We are a country of God. As I look at the problems in our country, quite honestly, I think the hot breath of destruction is breathing on our necks and to fix it politically is a figure that I don’t see anywhere.” (Glenn Beck)

This week  brought news of devastating floods, erupting volcanoes, a world economy in free fall,  an alarming spike in Afghanistan violence, and, of course, Tiger Woods’ divorce. And yet, at week’s end, the news  is dominated by coverage of a radio talk show host’s fan club rally in Washington. Of course it wasn’t just Glenn Beck that gathered a large crowd  to the nation’s capital for a series of Tea Party meets Jesus events. It was also anti-abortionist Patrick Lee, self-parody Sarah Palin, homophobic uber-Zionist John Hagee, drunk driving St. Louis Cardinal’s manager Tony LaRussa, along with an assortment of Christo-fascists, conservative rabbi’s, and right wing sycophants (Or as George W. Bush would call them: “My base, heh, heh, heh.”) How big was this story? No fewer than 5 of the 15 most-emailed stories on the New York Times website were about Beck, the Tea Party, or both.  The New York Times, not the Washington Times.

 NBC estimated the crowd to be around a staggering 300,000.  (Other estimates were as low as 85,000.) Hell, I’d be staggering too if I had to sit through the stultifying twaddle that roused the rabble at an event alternately  billed as “America’s Divine Destiny” or”Restore Honor” rally. Highlights include Lee’s admonition that public prayer would make America a better place, black belt conservative hack Chuck Norris quoting from Ben Franklin , and war worshiping Palin saying things like  “Say what you want to say about me, but I raised a combat vet, and you can’t take that away from me.”

“I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans…I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they are — were recipients of the judgment of God for that…There was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades…The Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment.”(Rev. John Hagee, 2005)

And, of course, there was Beck himself, mugging for the camera, unleashing his potent repertoire of facial tics, and conjuring up brilliant bon mots like “If you look at the Washington Monument, you might notice its scars. … a quarter of the way up it changes color. Look at it. Look at its scars. How did the scar get there? They stopped building it in the Civil War. And when the war was over, they began again. No one sees the scars of the Washington Memorial, the Washington Monument; we see what it stands for.”

You like that one? Well, there’s more where that came from, Buckie: “Something beyond imagination is happening. America today begins to turn back to God.”

And yes, the whole messianic megalomania of the event, the phony humbleness of Beck (who grossed $37 million last year), the huge turn out, and Palin’s smug, tired act do annoy the crap out of me. But, as you can tell from my opening paragraphs, it was the coverage of this thing that really grates. The increasingly insufferable Keith Olbermann of MSNBC absolutely couldn’t keep his mouth shut, providing literally hours of publicity to Beck and the rally over the past several weeks. CNN’s Sunday morning “Reliable Sources” show was devoted almost entirely to the event and featured this excruciatingly inane exchange between host Howard Kurtz and Democratic party hack Bill Press:

KURTZ: Bill Press, you have been crusading against this event for weeks. Most of the talk from Glenn Beck was about God and patriotism. What did he say, if anything, that you found troubling?

BILL PRESS, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Well, first of all, talking about God on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. By the way, whatever the numbers were –

KURTZ: Haven’t preachers done that?

PRESS: — 200,000, or whatever, I was there yesterday. I went down there. OK?

And I’ll tell you, I thought I was at a camp meeting, an old- fashioned religious camp meeting. I don’t think that’s appropriate on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. But two things.

KURTZ: Why is it not appropriate. Let’s stick with that. Why is it not appropriate?

PRESS: Because it is a sacred spot, number one. I don’t think it should be turned over to be a political or a religious rally. It was both, in my opinion. It was political. Not that he ever mentioned the word “Obama,” but you can’t bash Obama five days a week on the radio and television and then stand up on the Sabbath and be a non-political person.

Fox News, Beck’s spiritual home,  actually covered the event less than either CNN or MSNBC
and didn’t even broadcast the first 2 hours of the rally. And post-mortem news coverage focused on the “message”  Dems should be receiving about the crowd turnout, the religious psych-babble, and the anti-government tone of Operation Restore Honor. Yes, the fringe kook tea bag movement has officially entered the mainstream, with lots of help from NBC, CNN, the New York Times, Bill Press,  Keith Olbermann, and the usual suspects. I guess that’s why they call it the Mainstream Media.

 

Dog Days

Posted on 15-08-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Latest Outrages, Main Stream Media, Uncategorized

The “Dog Days of Summer” have as much to do with actual dogs as CAT Scan has to do with cats. The term actually refers to the ancient miscalculation that the “dog star” Sirius is closest to the sun during July and August and therefore is responsible for the year’s hotest weather. Nevertheless, I can always count on some dog  “controversies” to come sniffin’ around this time of the year, collect their share of fleas, pee on the collective media carpet, then role back over and go to sleep.

Leading the list this year is the canonization of the latest “folk hero” Steven Slater, the Jet Blue steward who went bonkers on a recent flight after being hit in the head by an overhead luggage bin door. Clearly the head-bonking was merely a trigger that unleashed in Slater a flood of pent up frustrations after years of airborn cattle drives. Have you flown lately? What was not to long ago a fairly comfortable, seamless, even luxurious mode of transport has lately become akin to a municipal bus ride through downtown Tegulcigalpa, lacking only the Indian woman in the bowler hat with a live pig on her lap. And you can bet that reality is not far off. Hell, I’m surprised Slater didn’t go postal that day, so I view his little trip down the inflatable ramp while quaffing a $5 Hienekin an act of pure restraint. But, christ, why are we still talking about him 2 weeks later? Is Slater really acting out on behalf of the “little guy”, or is he just a another kooky dipshit who let the pressures of the job get to him? Not since Joe-the-Dumb-Ass-Plumber has some average shlub gotten more media play.

The other big dog issue is all the hullabaloo about the Islamic cultural center proposed to be built a few blocks from “ground zero” in Manhattan. Frankly, I’m sick-as-shit about all the babble in recent years about religion, beliefs,  “values”, and other superstitions. We now have a “god-given” right to bear arms. What’s next, a “god given” right to bare arms? Please stop with all the hocus-pocus bullshit, America, and pull yourself out of the Dark Ages.

But there’s Obama, just having to weigh in  on the Islamic Center issue, during a Ramadam ceremony at the White House last week. Ramadam, of course, is the cleasing ritual practiced by Muslims who attempt to atone for their sins by skipping lunch for a month. Whatever. Actually it was fairly gutsy for the Prez to speak out on such a “controversy”, but you have to admit, he picked a pretty safe audience. But then shit met fan and the usual right wing douche bags (John Kyl, John Boehner, the odious Charles Krauthammer) jumped into the fray with all their nonsense about “hallowed ground” and the people “speaking with one voice”, and Obama backed down, “redefining”  his comments. Since then, I’m sure he has redefined his redefinition a few dozen more times, but when it’s all said and done, the cultural center will be built and there’s frankly nothing anybody can do about it except flap their jaws.

Which is really what all of this, and the other summertime issues and controversies amount to in the final analysis: filling the hot air with more hot air until the country finally says “enough”, turns off the tube, cracks a brewski,  throws a few slabs on the grill, and waits for football season to start. Ah, the  backyard patio: America’s true hallowed ground. And football: America’s true religion.

High-Tech Lynching

Posted on 21-07-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Godammed Bastards, Latest Outrages, Politics

That’s Ag Secretary Tommy Vilsack explaining the forced resignation of low-level department civil servant Shirley Sherrod, over “racially explosive” remarks she made recently about hating honkies and refusing to help them, especially honky farmers, especially one specific honky farmer whom she failed to recently help, when he desperately needed it.

Except, of course, none of that is true, except for the forced resignation part. What actually happened is that Ms. Sherrod had given a 40 minute speech 24 years ago, where she recounted her come-to-jesus moment, overcoming her resentment toward white folks, and reaching out to help a white farmer, with whom she has since become friends. So why the precipitous over-reaction by Vilsack? Well, because the NAACP fell prey to a cheap media stunt (“snookered” was their word) by Andrew Brietbard, the Wavy Gravy of right wing cyber-loons, who posted 2 1/2 out-of-context minutes of Sherrod’s quarter-century-old speech on his website in a cheap game of “Gotcha!”. The NAACP took the bait, Vilsack followed suit, and Sherrod was gone. Even Obama was “briefed” on the situation.  (This all, by the way, a result of Brietbart being incensed by the NAACP request last month that the “Tea Party” denounce some of its more outrageously racist rhetoric.)

Make sense? Brietbart intentionally posts Sherrod’s edited remarks in an attempt to smear her, the NAACP accepts Brietbart’s hit-piece at face value, and Vilsack sacks Sherrod without even so much as having one of his low-level Ag Dept. cabana boys watch the speech in its entirety. Now, of course, Vilsack and the NAACP and even the administration is all apologetic over the shabby, sorry-ass treatment Sherrod recieved, even though as of this posting, she still hasn’t gotten her job back.

In a sane world, nobody except ‘baggers, war mongers, survivalists, and televangalists should even know who this Brietbart creep is. But he’s a master mixologist, and the kool-aid he  cooks up in his cyber lab has just the right balance of hollywood-hating, war-loving, “small government”, anti-tax bullshit to reach a much wider audience of dunces. That includes the NAACP, the Secretary of Agriculture, and even the President of the United States. Who should know better. But they don’t. And that’s fucking disappointing and sad.

‘Zonies Vow To Free Up San Diego Freeways

Posted on 23-05-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Free Floating Hostility, Politics

 Word is that Arizona tourists are so pissed at our city council’s vote denouncing Arizona’s new immigration law that they’re boycotting San Diego as a tourist destination this summer, and the local Convention and Visitors Bureau is quaking in its collective sock-less loafers.  San Diego Union-Tribune columnist Michael Stetz, in Sunday’s edition, fearlessly engaged and interviewed, doubtlessly at the downtown Hooter’s or Seaport Village, a small handful of ‘Zonies who have chosen to ignore the “boycott”, but were never-the less mighty peeved.

Stetz accepted his hazard duty pay for the assignment, took a deep breath, and concluded:

Well, I’ve got a plan then. I know emotions are running high, but let’s everybody dial it a down a bit …Until after Labor Day.

Yes, emotions are running high. Just listen to the anger in the words of Michelle Caulfield, of Glendale:

“We have options.”

And here’s a seething Kimberly Ray of Tucson:

“It didn’t stop me personally from coming.”

I don’t know what they’re paying Stetz, one of the few U.T. writers who doesn’t have his head permanently planted up his ass, but  it’s clearly not enough, especially if he can capture that kind of raw emotion from everyday ‘Zonies. And it is true, as Michael states, that San Diego Con-Vis is sweating the loss of business. After all, they’ve received a whopping 35 emails  from angered ‘Zonies, enough to fill the outside smoking area three times over at the TGI Fridays on 5th. And, as the picture above attests, there are plenty of locals casually strolling the streets of Phoenix on a hot, summer afternoon. Who needs to go anywhere?

Support for the new law, which allows for local cops to demand proof of citizenship during routine stops, is strong in Arizona, and locals there are quick to point out that la policia can’t just stop anyone without probable cause. But who are they kidding? I once did a ride-along with a local S.D. traffic cop who boasted to me that he could follow a car for less than a minute and find a half a dozens reasons to pull over the driver. Plus, don’t forget, Phoenix features that phony tough-guy sheriff and publicity whore , Joe Arpaio, who’s abuses-of-power are legendary.

So lament the loss of those Arizona tourists this summer, if you must. But also remember, the next time you’re part of a 1/2 mile long caravan of cars following some crummy Dodge Caravan with Arizona tags driving 62 in the fast lane, that there will be approximately 35 fewer of those assholes on our freeways this summer.

The Apostle Paul

Posted on 20-05-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Latest Outrages, Politics

The  good news is that Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning is joining the ranks of the many millions of unemployed blue grassers when he finally retires from the senate after this term. The bad news is that his replacement is likely to be fringe tea party kook Rand Paul who this week won the Kentucky Repug primary.

Of course, Bunning, one of a tiny number of major league baseball players to throw no-hitters in each league, is a millionaire many times over, so he will be spared the economic suffering facing his fellow Kentuckians. And perhaps that explains why he recently, single-handedly, tried to block the bill that would extend unemployment benefits to the 11% of Americans trying desperately to survive the current economic dust bowl. In Kentucky, specifically, the jobs crisis is so deep that it seems like half the state is growing “boo”  just to keep afloat. So good riddance to Bunning, as cold-hearted a skin flint as has served in congress in a quarter century.

And say “hello” to Rand Paul, the alleged poster child for the tea party movement, who likely will join the google-eyed dork Mitch McConnell in the Kentucky senate delegation this fall. Paul’s zeal for segregated lunch counters and separate drinking fountains has endeared him to the ‘baggers, naturally, but in the past 24 hours he seems to be doing a little damage control  over comments made on the Rachel Maddow Show, comments to the effect that privately owned businesses have an inherent right to discriminate based on race, religion, and sexual orientation.

Excuse me, but I’m suffering from a bout of deja vu, because 3 years ago I interviewed Paul’s father, Ron, on the “Randi Rhodes” show, and the old man, too,  got a little creepy when I pressed him on social justice issues. Given that the interview was on national radio, it got quite of play on the internet.  Here’s an excerpt at the time from the political blog, Down With Tyranny:

I recently heard Ron Paul being interviewed by Stacy Taylor on AirAmerica. Paul went on the show apparently just expecting to be asked about his stance on Iraq. He was caught off guard when Taylor started asking him about his positions on various social and economic issues. Taylor asked the very same questions that he would ask and has asked any other candidate. Paul, however, felt ambushed. He has said very loudly that he will never go on AirAmerica again. I guess he felt uncomfortable. So where on the radio does Ron Paul feel comfortable?

With Stacy Taylor, he had an aide call up a give Taylor a new one as soon as he left the air. Stacy Taylor, very professionally, looked behind the curtain into the forbidden closet. The aide ranted big time and then hung up. Is this a man who is honest about his positions and isn’t trying to hide anything? If you’re so damn principled and forthright, just answer the questions and move on. Some of Taylor’s listeners called up to defend Rep. Paul. How dare Taylor ask Ron Paul questions that might inform the listeners! Such actions point to a budding fanaticism. This is the cult of Ron. It’s: we love the guy. Try on the Purple Shroud! The hell with the truth.

Yes, old man Paul, a momentary darling of the left because he opposed the Iraq war, was quite unnerved when I began pressing him on his libertarian principals and how they would have played out in the Jim Crow South. Just as Paul Jr. now is chafing under the flack from the Maddow interview, and other disclosures about his beliefs, specifically as they apply to minority rights. But let’s not rejoice prematurely over Rand Paul’s current public relations snafu. Because it’s those very beliefs that many of you might find repugnant that have endeared him to Tea Party movement and which will nearly ensure his election in the fall.

“May The Road Rise up to Meet You….

Posted on 06-05-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Free Floating Hostility

…May the wind be always at your back”, said the tearful Judge Gallagher, reciting the classic Irish adage, as she freed Raymond Towler  from prison in Ohio, after 29 years behind bars for a crime he didn’t commit. See below the beatific smile on Towler’s face as he’s about to step free into the sunlight for the first time since 1981, and tell me you still support the barbaric practice of capital punishment.

Update on the Poor Guy about to Lose his Property

Posted on 29-04-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Latest Outrages

Hopefully you recall this poor soul.

Here’s a recently posted youtube video as he faces the future and reflects on the past.

Goldman Sux! Senate Sux More!

Posted on 28-04-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Free Floating Hostility, Godammed Bastards, Politics

 I held myself hostage for a couple hours yesterday as the Senate banking committee grilled a series of reptilian Goldman Sachs executives, both past and present, including current CEO Lloyd Blankfein.

The chief inquisitor was Michigan Dem, Carl Levin, long-time water carrier for the auto industry and fierce opponent of CAFE standards, and therefore fierce opponent of clean air. Levin single- handedly created an instant smash hit drinking game, as every time he quoted the word “shitty”,  derived from internal G.S. emails, I downed a shot of Russian vodka, mainly to dull the reality of the charade that was unfolding before me.

In case you missed it, the main issue with Goldman Sachs is that, during the housing bubble,  they were selling bundles of toxic mortgage securities to unwitting dupe clients, while their own investment wing was “shorting” the same securities, effectively unloading crap they didn’t want anymore, while raking in $billions in profits on the short side. An analogy would be if a car dealer unloaded a lemon on some sucker while at the same time taking bets on whether the clunker would make it to the next stoplight.

The problem with the senate’s grandstanding clusterfuck was, of course, that it was responsible for the the very deregulation, a shitbomb known as the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, that allowed predators like G.S. to engage legally in these activities in the first place. And who, among others, fully endorsed Gramm-Leach-Bliley? Of course, the good Senator Levin.

But can you blame the Obama administration and congressional democrats for flipping the populist card? After all, Obama’s  single largest campaign contributor turns out to be Goldman Sachs, and dem pols have been raking in Wall Street moolah ever since they decided the trade unions and their campaign contributions were counter productive to their newly furbished image as Global Capitalists. And if the proposed banking “reform” that Democrats are proposing is anything like the recently-passed health care “reform”, expect so many loopholes and exemptions Goldman, et al, will merely have to create another “legal” form of corporate fraud.

Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Posted on 21-04-2010 | By: admin | 

Category : Free Floating Hostility, Politics

It always seems neccesary to preface a “gun rights” issue, with the admission that, yes, you too own a gun, as if only gun owners are credible commentators on guns. So here goes: I own guns, two of ‘em to be exact, a Winchester 30-30 deer rifle and a S&W Chief’s Special 38. But I hasten to add, I own the guns, the guns don’t own me. I make this distinction, because it seems like a lot of gun owners are obsessive-compulsive about their purchasing choices, and you may never, ever learn what kind of a car they drive, their favorite restaurants, TV shows, movies, or books, or what kind of coffee maker gets their jack going in the morning, but by god, they want desperately for you to know that they own guns.

I find this look-at-me-I-own-a-gun attitude a little weird because, if there really is something to the notion that an armed society is a safer society, than you want the “bad guys” to not know who owns and doesn’t own a firearm. The element of surprise is important in that regard, if you catch my meaning.

Where I grew up in Pennsylvania, everybody owned a gun, and when buck, doe, or bear season opened up in the fall, it was a free fire zone. But after a few weeks of traipsing through the woods, high on Ballentyne Ale, blasting away at whatever moved, most everybody made sure the guns went safely back into their cabinets to rest up for the next round of animal slaughter (although skunk, porcupine, ‘coon, and timber rattler season went year ’round, if you really felt that ambitious). Point is, guns were no big deal, not much different than your chainsaw, a pipe wrench, or your wrist watch: a handy tool to have when no other tool would do.

What the hell happened? When did gun ownership become this chest-pounding source of pride and self-identity? At exactly what point in history did the the tribe splinter from guys-who-own-guns into GUYS-WHO-OWN-GUNS-GOD-DAMN-IT!!!

I don’t know the exact statistics, but I believe that most of the 10′s of millions of guns in America are in the hands of mere 10′s of thousands of people. In other words, only a tiny percentage of Americans actually own guns, but there about 5 guns for every man, woman, and child in the country sold annually. Thus the name “gun nut”.

The latest little show-and-tell by the gun nuts revolves around something called “open carry“. This means walking around town, going into restaurants and stores, I suppose even Toys-R-Us,  toting un-loaded guns. The point, exactly, you ask? Beats me. According to John Pierce, the founder of the “open carry movement”: “I think the reason is that in many parts of the state, law abiding citizens are completely denied the right to protect themselves and the only option they have is unloaded open carry if they want to exercise the God given right of self-defense.” Make sense now? No? Ok, guess I’m not alone.

So what has been the net result of this “movement”? Well here in San Diego County, where the last buck, doe, and bear hightailed for the national forest several decades ago, a bunch of open-carriers strolled down the boardwalk at Mission Beach brandishing unloaded firearms on a sunny spring afternoon recently (I’m not kidding about that), ultimately provoking a local pol into re-thinking  the law. One thing led to another and Whoops! That ol’ law of unintended consequences reared its ugly head again!

But all’s okee-dokey in Gun-nutville. Because if these guys had nothing to bitch about, well….they’d have nothing to bitch about. Then they would lose their reason for living.

But like all causes, sometimes the purists must be forced to deal with those for whom guns are a part of, but not the center of their universe. In Keene, NH, recently, an “open breast” fanatic decided to exercise her god-given rights as only she knew how.

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