I’ll be the first to admit that I’m coming late to the California primary wars, but even I couldn’t avoid catching Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Poizner’s ubiquitous new campaign ad. You know the one: Steve is single-handedly keeping a car from going over a cliff. The car, I think, is California, and the cliff, I think, is financial ruin. What you don’t see is who’s driving the car, but the voice-over tells the story:
Of course, an illegal immigrant is driving the California car over the cliff of financial ruin and only Steve Poizner, the Buford Pusser of Insurance Commissioners, is there to stop it. Thank God, because Meg Whitman, Poizner’s opponent in the primaries, is just another Muslim-commie like Barack Hussein Obama, as this ad graphically explains:
Talk about feeling out of the loop! Hell, I thought the 12% unemployment rate, the collapse of Wall Street and it’s trillion dollar bail-out, the demise of the auto industry, an endless war in the Middle East, and a 30% nose dive in the real estate market were the factors that took Cali to the brink of economic meltdown, when all along it was the illegal immigrant, California’s perpetual political bogey man. Shit fire! Of late, I thought the little brown-skinned bastards were guilty of nothing more than shattering the early morning silence with their damnable leaf-blowers and driving their un-waxed and un-sightly Plymouth Neon’s through out toney suburbs, but once again I am forced to confront the reality that the the hermanos are the source of all that is calamitous and evil in our society. I should have known better, since the only Republican candidate in history even dweebier than Poizner, Pete Wilson, reminded me of the same horrors over 20 years ago:
These illegals probably do cost the state a bunch of doe, but who knows? There are a lot of conflicting studies, some of which (horrors!) even suggest that amnesty would at least turn a cash-under-the-table economy into a tax windfall (see Marijuana, legalization).
In any event, any numbers crunching is beside the point. It’s just comforting to know that I can sleep through 3 or 4 election cycles and get up to speed with a couple of campaign ads on tv. The guy or gal who cleans the slop off your table at your favorite restaurant has been, is, and always will be the source of all that is evil in California. At least according to Republicans.