Meme:  ”an idea, behaviour or style that spreads from person to person within a culture.”

Trope: “a word, phrase, expression, or image that is used in a
figurative way, usually for rhetorical effect”

With great reluctance, tinged with shame, do I admit to having watched each Republican presidential debate this fall. At first it was out of mere curiosity. ( Will any of these jokers say anything even slightly original or thoughtful?) Then it was for the comic effect. (999!) Then, ultimately, is was just morbid curiosity. (Jesus! “Lethal injection” is an applause line?)

The curiosity phase of my compulsion was satisfied within the first 15 minutes of the first debate; no, none of the jokers was going to say anything original or thoughtful. Obama-care, blah, blah, blah, Israel, blah, blah, blah, guns, blah, blah, blah, Job creators, blah, blah, blah, God, blah, blah, blah, etc.

The humor segment was short lived as well. “999″ stopped being funny the moment that I realized that the bombastic black dude really meant that shit, and that he would base his presidential campaign on some half-assed plan that would, if actually implemented, amount to the most massive shift of the federal tax burden from rich to poor in American history. Rick Perry was funny for a while, too, then he was merely pathetic. Too bad that  the one thing he said that made any sense and showed even a hint of humanity during the course of the debates, a rare sentiment that wasn’t a dog whistle or a rebel yell, a statement to the effect that it would be heartless to refuse to educate immigrant kids in the state of Texas, was what ultimately destroyed Perry’s campaign. But then again, that’s the Republican Party for you: cheer capital punishment, boo gay soldiers, applaud the idea that uninsured sick people should be left to die, and generally just act like a bunch of assholes.

Morbid curiosity set in around the 4th or 5th debate. The lame-o, jaw dropping questions, the inane responses, the petty arguments, the ghastly awkward moments, and the sheer stupidity of the candidate’s policy positions, all conspiring to create a train wreck atmosphere that was difficult to ignore. And the weird thing is that it wasn’t only sick fucks like me that were watching these horror shows; they were ratings winners! Lots of people were taking this stuff to heart, as if there was some serious intellectual debate as to whether the pizza guy, the cowboy, the bug-eyed lady, the hair cut, or the crazy uncle would make for good presidential timber.

But now to rescue the world from this circus comes the sanctimonious,  two-faced Newt Gingrich, the pseudo-intellectual “brains” of the tea party movement, as oily and unctuous a politician as to ever slither along the banks of the Potomac. The chattering class would have you believe that Gingrich is some kind of big thinker with personality issues, the reality is that Gingrich is a narrow-minded opportunist and a self-absorbed prick.

I’m no longer curious, morbidly or otherwise, about the perverse reality that would prevail should the likes of Newt Gingrich assume the presidency. (Or Cain, or Perry, or Romney, for that matter.) Curiosity, in fact, would likely be outlawed under their regime. It interferes with dogma. It questions authority. Curiosity goes hand-in-hand with science. Curiosity leads to understanding, then to empathy, then to sympathy, never good when the rats are racing, and the dogs are looking for their next meal.